As usual, making this record has been a lot more work than I thought it would be. When will I learn? It's so challenging to be producing my own records...listening back to some of my songs I've produced over the years, I think they're complete garbage. But after all these years of doing it, I feel like I'm getting closer to cracking the code, creating something great, and being able to seperate my ego from the truth.
Speaking of Ego and the Truth...
After feeling like I had a great list of songs for the new album, I sat down with Koley the other day (she is always an impartial, honest, and much needed opinion on whatever I'm working on), we listened to all of my work so far, including a handful of the songs that I hadn't touched since those first tracking sessions because I made the judgement then that they weren't as good as some of the others.
Nikole would ask me "Why isn't this one finished and on your list? This needs to be on your album" Or, shoot down what I thought was great: "Ehhhh....it's just not doing it for me....it's just kind of boring."
OUCH. But True. Although that always stings like a MOFO after days of working on something that I thought was great, I've learned to accept her comments over the years as very valuable. I don't need someone to lie to me and tell me that I'm an undisputed genius. (Although that would be sweet.) I NEED THE TRUTH! She is usually right too...Occasionally, I know that she can't quite see that what I'm creating will be great when it's fully realized, and I'll push through the pain of a bruised ego and make it so. Once I get over the momentarily deep depression of feeling like my work is worthless, what I create usually is better than what it wouldve been without that dark moment. I always end up feeling grateful that I have Koley in my life and that she won't pull any punches, even when she knows it'll hurt.
In any case, our listening session the other day left me with the reality that while I'd love to be done RIGHT NOW, there's a few more tunes on there that deserve the chance to be finished before I can definitively exclude or include them on the album. I'll be digging through the rest of it over the next week, overdubbing and editing. So...I'm approaching the finish line!
Here's a pic of her with another person in my life that has made me put my ego in check and look only for what really matters.
-G
